Whether with matters of business life or personal life, one’s self-perception is easily the largest factor in determining their success or failure. How you see yourself matters. The secret to unlimited self-confidence and positive self-perception may seem elusive, but Derek Halpern of Social Triggers has a simple solution that will make anyone thrive.
In the short video below Derek explains how he started college with a self-perception of being shy and awkward. Knowing the importance of this he went looking for a way to make a change. His simple (and fun) tactics enabled him to become blazingly confident and astonishingly well-spoken over the course of a few months. Don’t spend your life thinking you can’t, start today and see how YOU CAN!
The self-perception theory proposes that we observe our behavior, and then reach conclusions about who we are. If we behave as a shy, nervous, and insecure person, then how we perceive our self will reflect that. On the other hand, if our actions are those of a confident, secure, and capable person, then very quickly that’s how we’ll perceive our self. It sounds too good to be true, right? If you want to feel happier, start smiling more often. If you want to feel more generous, start giving things away. If you want to feel more confident when you’re talking to people, assume a power stance by standing up straight and pulling your shoulders back. You’ll be amazed by how quickly your perception of yourself will change.
For a compelling perspective on how our behavior affects our mindset, have a look at Timothy Wilson’s brilliant article entitled “We Are What We Do”. Once you’re dazzled, check out his more extensive exploration of the subject in his book “Redirect: The Surprising New Science of Psychological Change.”
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve talked to people who have said: “I’d love to own my own business, but I’m just not confident enough to do that.” My response to them has always been the same: “If you act like someone who CAN’T do it, then you can’t. If you choose to act like someone who CAN do it, then you’re well on your way to success.” A negative mindset will harm you more than you think and you need to fight against it at all costs. If you’re intrigued by a business opportunity but feel disqualified because you feel inadequate, adjust your behavior and quickly your perspective will fall into line.
I’ve been inspired by this quote many times on my journey:
“A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms against himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.” ~ Alexandre Dumas; Writer, Author
Are your actions preventing you from believing in yourself? Are you your own worst enemy? Change can start today. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by how difficult modifying your personality might sound, it’s best to start with something easy. Follow Derek’s advice and the next time you go to a restaurant, or go shopping at a store, engage the staff in casual conversation. When presented with the check, respond by saying “What? It isn’t free today?” This response will take the person off-guard, and should elicit some laughter. You’ll feel a burst of confidence, and very likely, your self-perception will begin to change.
“Faith is taking the first step even when you can’t see the whole staircase.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr.